Dallas' Current Score

-173

Here's the game:

We’ve given Dallas a starting point value of -124. Every week or so, we’ll try out something new and report back. If Dallas sucks even a smidge less as a result of our outing, we’ll give the Big D some points back. But if it sucks or the city does something particularly heinous, Dallas will sink further into negative territory. Can Dallas break even before we escape?

Sunday, January 24, 2010

GEM TAKES ON: KONA'S REVERSE HAPPY HOUR

(Who are we kidding, Gem is too old to make it to a happy hour that starts at 9. But since everyone in Dallas goes crazy in the coconut for reverse happy hour, we're going to pretend that this happened at night and not at uh, 5:30. Just pretend, please.)

WARNING: Bullet Points Ahead

Kona Grill's Reverse Happy Hour should suck by the usual Gem and Aimless Standard. Strikes against it:
  • It is located in a mall.
  • It is a chain.
  • It is often filled with hordes of Dallasites looking to score cheap(er than normal, let's not kid ourselves. It's still Dallas.) sushi and drinks.
  • If the weather is remotely tolerable said hordes turn into vultures, ready to descend on an open or nearly open table in a second.
  • These hordes have been known to step on you with a stiletto or elbow you in the face in pursuit of $3 sushi rolls.
  • I'm not joking, people get ugly going for those tables. Being averse to conflict, this place usually gives me anxiety.
  • The picture below is from Kona's Dallas website. Those people look like...fun?

Photobucket

But on this particular evening, I had a few things going for me:
  • People stayed away because of the cold but the heaters did their job nicely.
  • I had never discovered that a sake bomb at Kona is not the same thing as a sake bomb at Kyoto; rather than yelling followed by chugging followed by stumbling, this one involved a bottle of sake and a gigantic Kirin. For $6. SCORE. Stumbling included.
I went into this happy hour anticipating deducting points but thought maybe, just maybe, we'd stay neutral and award none. And then this happened, in rapid succession:
  • The Ting Tings - "That's Not My Name"
  • Junior Senior - "Move Your Feet"
  • St. Vincent - "Actor Out of Work"
  • Delta Spirit - "Trashcan"
After a few of those sake bombs, we'll just say I was feeling the soundtrack. HECK, YES.

Five points, Kona. But if we go back and you devolve into that crappy 90s mix again, those five big ones will be revoked quicker than a vulture in stilettos can steal my table.

Current Score: -153. Color me surprised.
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