Dallas' Current Score


Here's the game:

We’ve given Dallas a starting point value of -124. Every week or so, we’ll try out something new and report back. If Dallas sucks even a smidge less as a result of our outing, we’ll give the Big D some points back. But if it sucks or the city does something particularly heinous, Dallas will sink further into negative territory. Can Dallas break even before we escape?

Friday, March 5, 2010


Ok, so it's been a while, but Gem has now provided me with the password so I can make updates myself. I promise, we have done things as the weeks have passed, and I'll start posting those items as I can. This first entry took place back in January. I ventured out without Gem, much to my dismay. My destination was the “viper pit” of Dallas douchbaggery – Downtown. It began with a wedding reception at the Third Space Gallery. This is located by the Iron Cactus, which is alive with people wanting to be seen in their “finest.” Just walking by it was enough, with people stopping to take pictures in the classic girls-leaning-over-hands-on-the-knees pose. Oh, and there was a Hummer stretch limo. Yipes!

The actual gallery was nice, and made for a classy reception. I found a table to seat myself at and then helped myself to the wine in the open bar. And, who am I fooling, made about 4 trips to get food. I was pretty hungry.

The rumor mill started that everyone was headed to Plush after the reception was over. Normally I would have groaned in dread, as I tend to stay as far away as possible from bars with one-syllable names. They’re usually the worst of the worst. This time, I thought it would be great fodder for this blog. Soon it came to light that this place required a $10 cover for ladies and $15 for guys. The people I was with are reasonable, and quickly made the decision to go to the bar at Magnolia Hotel instead, which is where everyone that came in town for the reception was staying.

Walking into the hotel seemed promising enough, as we were greeted with quite the luxury car.

After the boys posed for a few pictures we wandered inside to the bar. We chose a side area that had three girls sitting together in a couch. They were, literally, in the process of grabbing each other’s boobs when we walked in. I’m about 4 glasses of wine in, so I had no problem inquiring into what they’re up to. Turns out they were trying to decide who has the largest breasts. They wanted me to submit my opinion. Now, I didn’t touch them, but I did give my opinion based upon site only on who the winner was. Sorry, there are no pictures to document this encounter. Soon after, the rest of the people from the reception entered the room, and the ladies dispersed. The rest of the night was spent finishing the leftover wine from the reception and hanging out with good people.

Dallas, you did offer up a few gems in your downtown area, but the night was made by the company I kept instead of anything you had to add. Therefore I award you no points. You should consider this a victory.

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